Wednesday, October 22, 2008

it happened again.

I've hoped and prayed it wouldn't happen again. I've fought, and struggled, and done everything in my power to prevent it. However, it wasn't up to me, cuz I'm just the mom.

Sean's in the hospital again. We've been fighting this battle since school started. He's not adapting well to high school. He's been suspended 3 times, and the quarter ended today. He's been in fights, been picked on, and been outrageous in a not-so-good way.

We had him in partial hospitalization all last week (it's like a day-long therapy session), and were about to transition back to school full time, when he pulled his stunt. He didn't hurt himself, (and honestly, i don't really think he had any intention of doing what he threatened) but he made the threat, and at partial care, so it was grounds for immediate hospitalization.

He's there now. He will be there for 2 or 3 days.

This is so hard. i KNOW it's not my fault, that mark & i have done everything in our power to help him to adapt. he's been put into smaller classes, he's been moved away from kids who would torment him because he's different. it just wasn't enough.

but my heart hurts. i cried last night because i miss my baby boy. i miss him now.

dammit

9 comments:

Sandy said...

Minnie, its not your fault! I hope this helps him and you feel better soon. Just remember you can't control everything. Many hugs

Cathy said...

Big hugs...long...deep..really big hugs.

theatreknitter said...

minnie I am so sorry. I can't imagine what this must be like. my thoughts are with you, with huge hugs.

Anne said...

Ah geez! Tough for you, tough for him, tough for everyone. I'm so sorry!

--Deb said...

Hugs...

Michelle said...

I'm sorry to hear about Sean and as a mother, I can relate to how you're feeling. Many big hugs to you. I know it may sound trifle and corny, but it will all work out. Just believe in that when you feel despair. It has helped me through some really rough patches.

Kit said...

It's so very tough to have a sick child. Ask my parents. But you're strong, you'll beat this. *hugs*

guernseygal said...

Hugs, My daughter went through a bad patch earlier this year so I have some idea what you are going through :-(. It is not your fault, hell it may not be anyone's "fault", but you still feel you should have been able to do something ( I know I did)

Mrs. H (aka MrsAych) said...

I've been there and it sucks. If you ever need to vent...

*HUGS*