Monday, December 11, 2006

there is no place like nebraska

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Nebraska...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Nebraska.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Nebraska.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Nebraska.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Nebraska.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of GRAND ISLAND for the weekend, you live in Nebraska.

If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Nebraska.

If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Nebraska.

If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Nebraska.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Nebraska.

If you install security lights on your house and garage,but leave both off, you live in Nebraska.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Nebraska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Nebraska.

If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Nebraska.

If driving is better in the winter because the pot holes are filled =
with snow, you live in Nebraska.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Nebraska.

If you have more hours on your snow blower than miles on your car, you live in Nebraska.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in Nebraska.

If you understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Nebraska friends & others, you actually have lived in Nebraska (Or any number of other "Upper Midwestern" states).

GO HUSKERS!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

fillyjonk said...

"If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Nebraska."

Or you might live in Oklahoma...

I hate "continental" weather.