this is my g post.
my boys are rockers, as am i. however, one of sean's favorite songs is my immortal, by evanescence. they decided to play that cd tonight, and as i listened to it, i could hear sean sing along, word for word, in that beautiful soprano that only an 11 year old boy can sing. as only he can sing, as he's lived every word.
2 years ago, i feared for his sanity. the boys had been placed in foster care with their aunt & uncle, against my wishes, 2 years before that, and then, as suddenly as they arrived there, they left. however, there was lasting damage, particularly for sean. he had been told that if he came to live with me again, and not with his aunt & uncle, that he would die when the final reckoning came, because i had chosen not to be of their religion as i once had. a nine year old boy. understandably, he was torn. life everlasting (as they had shown him), or be with the woman who gave birth to him, and had fought for 2 years to get him home. and as fragile as he was already, this tore him to pieces. he didn't threaten suicide in this time period, but there were visits where he'd scream and cry and try to break things, and say the evilest things (never to me, though, always directed at "those in power"). to watch this from my baby, who had always been sweet, even when he was trying, almost broke my heart.
this is when my immortal came out. "when you'd cry, i'd wipe away all of your tears." i did. "when you'd scream, i'd fight away all of your fears." i did. "but you still had all of me." and he did and does. and it was a long, hard fought battle, and to this day, we fight the good fight. but, he said something the other day, to his sister who has chosen that religion, that i thought was a very brave thing to say: "i'm not (such & such religion) any more. i'm a christian." he doesn't believe he's going to die, anymore.
and it took GUTS.
(ok, now who needs a tissue, i've used up my box!)