my mother collapsed at church this morning. i didn't find out until 830 tonight. my stinky brother didn't keep mark's phone number, so never called me. i finally found out when mark called me and said my brother bob had called, and that Mommy was in the hospital. i had one moment where all i could think was "i CAN'T lose her now!". as if my will has anything to do with it.
she's basically ok. they're keeping her in the hospital for observation, and to do a EKG when they can fit her in. she hadn't been feeling good yesterday, when i called her to see if she wanted to go to the store, so i stopped to check on her. she seemed basically ok, just felt fugly and blech, so i went on my merry way. she still didn't feel good this morning, but went to church anyway, because it was her turn to read for bible study. her heartbeat slowed waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy down, and that is what caused her to collapse. it never stopped, or so they told us.
i wonder if this has anything to do with the major dental work she had done last monday. my mother had a heart valve replacement in 1986, and has been on bloodthinners ever since. we had to stop that for 5 days for the dental work to be done (she had 4 teeth pulled). we had a few issues with bleeding, but a second visit on monday resolved it. she said she felt fine (i called and checked on her several times on tuesday). she was fine wednesday when she watched the boys. she looked fine, other than the usual bruising she always gets when she has ANYTHING invasive done.
meanwhile, my vacation hangs in the balance. we were due to leave at 645 friday morning for portland, oregon. i don't know what to do. the tickets and beach house are already paid for. if i back out now, we lose all of it. even if we could rechange the tickets, it would cost us $100 per ticket. and the money for the beachhouse is just gone. i want to go so bad, but i don't want to leave my mother. odds are pretty good that she'll be out way before friday, but still. i may ask my stinky brother to keep her while we're gone. on top of that, i just got an email from my fucking caseworker that i need to do a ton of things before i'll be allowed to take the boys out of the state. she claims she never got the phone message i left a month ago, when i got the plane tickets arranged. i don't know what to do, but i'm sitting here bawling as i type.
everybody else is in bed. i can't talk to anyone.